Archives for 2014
That being said I already miss my kiddos and have plenty of what-if-we-get-in-a-car-crash scenarios going through my head. Can’t let myself be too happy right?
This outfit is a super casual usual around here. I wear this tunic all of the time and layering it with a cardigan makes it warmer for Winter inside wear. I bought myself this Freshly Picked bag for Christmas and holy cow- it really is amazing. I’m shocked at how much I love the size and how soft it is, not to mention the color. It’s definitely one of my favorite Christmas gifts. I sure know myself well! 🙂
What was your favorite Christmas gift? Do you have any fun plans for today?
It’s coming down to the end. 2015 is on its way and I’m excited. I love to look ahead and plan ahead and work on improving. I don’t always like to look back and see how I’ve done- usually I get embarrassed of how I’ve fallen short or get discouraged. But it is amazing to see what can change in a year and the unexpected events and opportunities that life has brought. Today I”m choosing to look back at Sunday Style and share a few of my favorite Winter outfits for you. As you can see I despise wearing tights, but I’ll make an effort this year- maybe.
Merry Christmas! I hope you had a wonderful day yesterday and continue to get to enjoy the rest of the weekend off. We have had a great last couple of days, despite the flu and coughs running rampant through our house. Nothing like being sick on Christmas huh?
On Christmas Eve we all stayed home and really took it easy. Soren and all three kids were pretty sick so I ran the show. But who am I kidding, I always run the show on the holidays.
Our family does Christmas Eve dinner with my parents and so Christmas Eve day we spent preparing our food for the meal. The boys helped wash potatoes and we made several batches of cookies. Knox was very enthusiastic to be washing anything, including the floor.
We finally made it to my parents and had an amazing traditional ham and potatoes dinner. Afterwards we all played games like charades and my boys did awesome. Kesler can act out “making a snowman” like nobody else.
Christmas morning was such a treat. The boys did a great job waiting until about 8 am to get all of us up and we all opened our stockings. My Dad “helped Santa out” by painting these wooden swords we found on Etsy. The boys wanted fire swords like Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon but I think these turned out a little better than the plastic Target versions.
We all got apples in the feet of our stockings (we were out of oranges) and Soren found his had a tiny bit out of it. Must have been those elves!
All in all it was a wonderful Christmas. The boys are old enough to be entertained by their toys all day and I just loved watching and playing with them. We ate leftovers and took our time opening and assembling gifts all day. It felt wonderful to just “be”. I’m so thankful for my little family and my place as their Mom. I can’t imagine a better way to spend the holidays. I hope you had a wonderful day with your family and friends!
As far as the positive side goes, not being pregnant right now has been a huge blessing. I have been living on no sleep, not enough water, lots of meds and plenty of stress as we have been working long hours and filling Christmas orders. I can’t imagine adding a growing belly, heartburn and more fatigue. I’ve been through pregnancy a few times and although mine aren’t terrible, they aren’t a cake walk. This is a physically demanding season of life and I can definitely see the silver lining of not being pregnant as far as my health goes.
I’m also so grateful for the chance to really enjoy Knox being the baby. Because I didn’t (and don’t) think he was our last, I don’t think I really made the most of his time as a baby. But now? I am soaking him up. He is such a sweet baby and although technically not still a baby- he is my baby and I kinda wish I could keep him that way forever.
And although those are the positives that have come out of the miscarriage, I have been surprised at how hard some of the little reminders are. For example, I find its hard when people ask me how many kids I have. I surprise myself when I start to say four, but really mean to say three. I guess that in my head I had already moved on to the number four, so going backwards feels weird.
It’s also annoying when I get pregnancy updates from Baby Center every week telling me how far along I am and how difficult it is to unsubscribe to those emails. Why do I have to sign in for that? Why?
I feel slightly envious of friends that are pregnant because we were going to be pregnant together. Or I was going to be the next one to have a baby. Not to mention just plain feeling baby hungry when I see birth announcements, tiny baby clothes or someone planning a nursery.
The hardest part has probably been feeling such a loss and not knowing what to do with it. I am pro-life so obviously I believe life begins before birth- but this whole miscarriage has made me ask questions that never mattered to me before. Do I really have four kids? Do we have a baby in heaven? Or is the loss I feel because we lost a potential life? It’s pretty heavy stuff and in general I just feel like hiding from that side of it.
But I’m fine! Really. To be honest I’m fine. I’m fine because I have faith in God’s plan. I have faith that because of the Savior all things will be restored and made right- whatever that means for us. It doesn’t make that pain all gone or fix everything now, but that’s okay. We have so many joys and happiness in our life (like three awesome boys!) that we can still feel good and move forward.
If you have suffered a similar loss, I’m where you are. Thank you for your words, support and love. I know they have been another blessing for our family this year.