Today I’m hitting the 36 week mark. And I can tell I’m in the homestretch. My sleeping has progressively been getting worse- and along with that- my general attitude about life. Those couldn’t be connected could they?
I blogged about depression in my first trimester and somehow I think some of it comes back near the end of pregnancy for me. I’m not sure if it’s hormonal or exhaustion or what- but to be honest, my generally optimistic attitude has definitely shifted. I have become a whiner and a bit of a grouch.
I’m sure it’s a combination of the pressure of a new baby coming, trying to keep up with life while uncomfortable and not feeling like myself, and the stress of getting things done before baby. And all of those things are legitimate. But I hate feeling ornery and judgy and unmotivated. It doesn’t feel nice to not feel nice! I’m trying to take short naps and cut myself some slack. I know four weeks will fly by and then I’ll be in a whole new world of tired, overwhelmed and busy. But most of me hopes that we’ll just show up at the hospital, have a baby and then get back to life like it ain’t no thing. It’s not like I haven’t done this before right?
So if you know me in real life- or you’ve seen me in real life- I’m sorry for my general lack of….happy. I’m trying. And I really feel mostly okay. Just not exactly sweet.