My whole life, I have had the hardest time with saying no or disagreeing with anyone – to their face, that is. I have NO problem disagreeing with or wanting to say no to someone behind their back, but actually getting the words out to someone in real life is such a difficulty. I do say no to my kids, and to my husband, but almost no one else gets a committed ‘NO’ in real life. I just push off the conversation or never get around to it. It’s not that my heart’s not in the “no”- I literally don’t know how to deliver the message. And it burns a lot of bridges for me.
When I was in college, I had such a problem with not being able to tell guys that I wasn’t interested in dating them. If I got asked out I would say yes, and then if they asked me out again, I’d say yes again. Eventually, they thought we were a thing, and I ended up literally breaking hearts rather than merely disappointing them from the get go. I don’t say that to brag at all, but it’s a good example, and it happens everywhere else in my life too. I just don’t know how to decline an opportunity, so I often put if off until that bridge has been burned. I know it makes me look so much worse than if I had just said no from the start, but I don’t know how! Blogging and starting a business has brought so many great (and some not-so-great) opportunities to my door, and I don’t think I’ve gotten much better at dealing with the situations where I want to say no. My best help so far has been asking Soren to help me reply – and he is great – but I think I need to figure this out.
Do you have a hard time saying no too? How do you say no?
PS – These Black Cut Out Leather earrings are coming this week! New earring and cuff styles will be in the shop on Friday!