We haven’t always been successful at dating as a married couple and I’d say we are still working on it. We aren’t consistent in going and there aren’t many things we both like to do. Usually the pressure and expectation (on my end) of a “DATE” is what ends up ruining things. We end up fighting, I’m frustrated and the night gets wasted. It’s taken 8 years, but I think I’m learning to chill out about date night finally.
Over past few months we’ve been participating in a date night co-op with two other couples. We each take a turn watching all of the kids one Friday a month and then get to go out two other Friday nights a month. Its been a good chance for us to have a few successful dates where the biggest hurdle is taken care of- childcare. Once the babysitting has been taken care of- there is the question of what to do? Lately we’ve had success expanding our definition of a date as well as doing the classic-but-they-work type of dates. Here are a few not-ground-breaking dates that have worked for us lately.
1. Dinner somewhere new. We finally tried a sushi place in town a few weeks back and it was yummy. We both like sushi but hadn’t gone for a long time. We ended up talking business while we were there- but it was in a dream about the future sort of way and we both enjoyed it.
2. A movie. This is has has been our fall back for a long time because you don’t have to talk to each other (ie: can’t get in an arguement). I hate paying for movies in theaters, but getting out of the house together is worth paying for. Usually we can find a movie we both like versus finding a different activity that we both like.
3. Working out. We have started working out together recently and honestly I feel like its a date. The gym has childcare and if we do the same workout we get to spend an 45 min to an hour together. We used to do this in college when we were first married all of the time and so it feels good to go back and do something we used to enjoy together.
4. Starting an old TV series together. We have had luck with shows like 24 in the past where we can watch entire old seasons together. Lately we started Veronica Mars from season 1 and both really like it. We watch it at night on Amazon Prime while we work downstairs and its fun to have a running show that we watch together.
I don’t think we have a fifth yet. I’m not going to pretend we have a fabulous dating life or that we have the best relationship either. Dating is hard for us and well most things that we do together are. That is what happens when two opposites of opposites marry each other. But awesome things also happen- like super cool kids and creative business ideas.
I’d love to hear your date night tips! What has been successful for you? Do you have plans tonight?