When I was younger, I just wished for the day to arrive when I would suddenly be a really good person or have a lot of great friends or be more outgoing and brave. I was always so down on myself about where I was in life and about my imperfections. My one little word this year is ‘content,’ and only one month into the year, I am amazed to see how perfect it is for me. Already I’m learning that being content with slow and small progress is the way to make big changes happen.
I’m accepting that during this time in my life, I can just focus on getting things in order at the right pace. I don’t need to rush or panic or be something that I’m not. I am where I am, and I am who I am. I love the peace that comes from realizing that God is patient with me and that small changes that are repeated every day make a difference. I’ve talked plenty about my weakness for comparing myself to others, but I’ve recently realized that I also compare my current self to the person I expected to be at this point in life. Thinking I should be to a certain place in my life by now is such a negative and made-up thing. How can I be happy or content if I’m constantly comparing my real self to a made-up self?
My life is definitely not what I thought it would be and neither am I. But honestly, I’m so glad for it! How amazing is it that I am the lucky mom to three fantastic little boys? That I have a husband who loves me and who can work not only his day job, but the second one I created for him at nights? I never expected to have made a “career” for myself that includes writing and sharing my passions with an audience who cares. I could never have planned such wonderful things – I am so glad I’m not in charge! Focusing on those things is what makes me happy and gives me the courage to try a little more each day. Who knows where it will take me?