I was telling my husband a few weeks back that I thought I was getting the hang of this three kids gig. I have been feeling pretty confident in my ability to handle three kiddos, and everyday life has been going pretty smoothly. (Knock on wood.) We go run errands, naps are pretty consistent, and all of the boys are sleeping through the night. I’m able to find time to work, the house is reasonably clean, and we’ve been healthy. I am really happy overall with the stage in life that we are at, but I have to say this weekend tested that content feeling.
On Thursday-Saturday of this last week, many of my good blogging friends attended a blog conference in Salt Lake City. I was able to attend last year and it literally was a life-changing weekend. I originally planned on going again, but it wasn’t the right choice for our family this year. While I’m sure I made the right choice to not go, it was still a rough weekend of feeling like I was missing out. What did I feel like I was missing out on? Flying alone, sleeping in a hotel, eating out, girl time, no one asking me questions or screaming for me to wipe their bum, interesting classes, meeting online friends, shopping, and just time to be ME. Sometimes, no matter how well things are going, I just think ‘Why don’t I ever have time to just be ME? Why can’t I just get on a plane and go somewhere? Why can’t I just go window shopping or heck, real shopping, alone any day of the week? Why can’t I just sleep in?’ I was totally feeling like a victim because being a momma is such a FULL TIME JOB. I shouldn’t compare, but sometimes I do compare my life to other people’s, and it seems like the people who really need breaks are the people who get them the least – and the people who need them the least get them the most!
Well…my point is that I know myself well enough that I could see right though those victimized feelings. Was it okay to feel sad that I was missing out on a good thing? Yep. But should I have faith in the right choice that I had made to stay home and make the most of that? Definitely. And we really had a good weekend. I was able to get a few breaks and felt so loved and served by the people around me. My husband served me while I was able to go to a local blogger event and do some shopping with a friend on Saturday morning. He served me again by researching and buying me a new dishwasher. (Hallelujah!) Our neighbors served us by babysitting so we could go to our Saturday evening church meeting without kids. I attended church with my family on Sunday and spent the day napping with them, eating with them, and keeping life happy and comfortable for them. I wouldn’t change my life and my job in it for anything. I wouldn’t trade my calling as a mom right now for the ability to fly somewhere or shop alone. AND I think I’m even happy for my friends who did get a break this weekend – I can’t wait to hear all about the conference.